She's Not Me

Who is managing wacky Christine O'Donnell's campaign for Senate over there in Delaware? (I think that she's representing the MILF party.) I'd really like to hear their reasoning for her latest TV ad, as I'm not so sure that you need to automatically assume that everyone who watches TV is going to be aware of the fact that she claims to have dabbled in witchcraft (whatever the hell that means) when she was younger and therefore, that justifies having that disclaimer right off the bat. Wait. What?

Correct. See, back in October of 1999 when Bill Maher had her on his show, Politically Incorrect, she claimed "I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven. But I did, I did. … I dabbled into witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I’m not making this stuff up. I know what they told me they do....One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn’t know it. I mean, there’s little blood there and stuff like that...We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a satanic altar." Uh-huh. OK, then. Since I've already been over this, I'll direct you over to the folks at Think Progress for the video of that whole debacle.

Now, maybe you hear that clip and think that she's a nutjob. Maybe you hear that clip and you think that you're not going to vote for anyone that whack-a-do. You know what I'm guessing that you're not thinking? I'm guessing that you're not thinking that she's really a witch. You know. Because of the whole witches not being real sort of thing. Yeah, that. But she apparently seems to think differently. She seems to think that it is really important to point out that she is not a witch. Oh, for cryin' out loud.

So, here's her first ad. First thing she says is, "I'm not a witch." Uh, yeah. We know. No one is. But seriously, if you hadn't heard the whole deal about her and her witchy-poo dabblings and then that commercial came on, wouldn't your head spin around just a little bit as you exclaimed, "What the hell is she talking about?!" I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen with several people over there. Does the ad get better after that? Not really. Next thing she says is, "I'm nothing you've heard." See, I don't know about that one. I've heard she's a little cuckoo and I'm inclined to agree a little bit with that assessment. But what I won't agree with is what she says next. She states, "I'm you."

Yeah. See, you're really not. You're really not me. I'm not the one who stated that I believed that folks shouldn't masturbate. I'm not the one who said she wanted to stop the country from having sex. I'm not the one who said that masturbation was the equivalent of committing adultery. I'm not certainly not the one who said, "We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools. Now we're having weekly shootings. We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS." (I don't even know what that means.) And I don't buy into the theory that "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains." (Again, I don't even know what that means.)

All of that? That's not me. That's her. And it scares the hell out of me to think that she could be sitting in the Senate helping to decide what is best for the country.