Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Worst "Documentary" Ever

I'm reconsidering my affiliation with The Discovery Channel. And by "affiliation" I mean that I watch the channel and presume that the folks that run it know what they're doing and are truly interested in showing something that could qualify as a "discovery". But after I heard that they were going to "re-enact" Michael Jackson's autopsy, complete with sparkly glove, I started having second thoughts. Wait. What now?

Correct. The Discovery Channel, according to something called CBC News, was going to air a program that claimed " be a medical documentary re-enacting the autopsy performed on Michael Jackson." I don't even know what in the world that would consist of. But I DO know that the commercial that they aired for it showed a sparkly gloved hand poking out from under a white sheet. Behold!

Oh, that's real tasteful. Way to go Discovery Channel. What exactly was it that you were discovering during this episode? Was it to see how low you could really stoop? I believe we've discovered that it's quite a ways farther than anyone would have expected. Fortunately, they have "indefinitely postponed the broadcast" citing "...the start of hearings next week in the criminal case against Jackson's doctor and a request by the late superstar's estate as reasons for the postponement." Hmm.

I don't know if that's the real reason or if someone finally just came to their senses. I find it amazing that the whole thing made it from the idea stage all the way to the point where the thing was filmed and ready to go on the air! Think about it. How many different people would have had to have heard this bizarre idea and thought to themselves, "Yeah. This is a good idea. We should do this. We should do this fast before someone else gets the same idea and does it first." It would have had to have been several people thinking that this is a viable concept to air on The Discovery Channel. That's troubling in and of itself. I'd really like to talk to those folks who gave the go ahead on this. Just for a few minutes. I want to know what other sorts of things they think are good ideas. I'm sure it would be a very entertaining, albeit mind-boggling, conversation.

I'm sure that the next bad idea that they would come up with along this same ridiculous line of programming would be a re-enactment of the Elvis autopsy. Then a re-enactment of the Anna Nicole Smith autopsy. They'll have to implement Autopsy Wednesday. Each and every Wednesday, it's a different re-enactment of a celebrity autopsy. Don't miss the Gary Coleman autopsy! Tune in the week after that for the Buddy Holly autopsy! (In this silly scenario, I envision the morons at The Discovery Channel trying to reach out to all morons across the board who would even think of watching something like this.) And don't miss the season finale where they recreate the autopsy of the alien that crashed at Area 51!

Good Lord, Discovery Channel. I realize that you're not PBS or anything like that, but I truly expected more out of you. From now on, however, I will be expecting less. Not autopsy re-enactment less, but less.

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