Sign On The Dotted Line

I've come across a new aspect of abusive relationships. Sure, some folks say that those who stay in abusive relationships "have it coming" or some crap like that (they don't, of course). But the question now is do they "have it coming" if they sign a contract in which they consent to the abuse beforehand? Wait. What now?

Correct. For some reason, this story is coming to us from our friends across the pond at The Daily Mail, even though it takes place in Seattle, Washington. What we appear to have is "A violent boyfriend forced his pregnant girlfriend to sign an 'abuse contract' allowing him to beat her whenever he wanted." But that's not all! Like any contract, there were clauses and terms that spelled out what the contract was all about. And "Under the terms of the contract Graydon Smith,31, was allowed to punch, kick and throttle his 19 year old girlfriend." And if you're wondering what this sort of loser looks like, I'm going to say that he looks about exactly what you think he looks like. Behold!

See? Was I wrong? Of course not. But let's not be too hasty to judge this lad! After all, not only were there terms, there were also restrictions, for cryin' out loud. There were certain things that he couldn't do. That's only fair, right? (Why those certain things didn't include the abuse in the first place is a bit beyond my capacity to understand this sort of thing.) "His only restriction was that he wasn't allowed to punch her stomach." Awww.....see? What a great guy! He was looking out for the unborn! What a peach. That is, if by "peach" I really mean "A-hole".

This all came to light when the girlfriend's stepfather "saw Smith throttling his daughter" and subsequently called police. Might I just note that most fathers/stepfathers would have done a little throttling of their own had they been witness to such an act. I'm thinking ol' Graydon got off easy by having the cops called.

When the cops arrived, this dimwit "...admitted to police that he had made his girlfriend...sign the contract giving him free rein to carry out domestic abuse." I am dying to know what this admission came about. I can only assume that he was confronted by the cops and, because he's practically Einstein, pulled out the contract and showed it to them. I'm also assuming that it involved some use of the term "See?" Again, pure speculation on my part, but only because it's completely asinine to expect that anything sane would be taking place at this point.

I'd like to know how long this was going on before he was busted. I mean, did his 19-year old girlfriend really think that there wasn't anything that could be done because she signed some idiotic contract that allows for her to be beaten? Oh, I almost forgot: Anywhere but in the stomach region. You know, because he's such a caring individual.

The article ends with these two gems of sentences: "Unemployed Smith has been charged with assault and harassment. He is being held on £75,000 bond." Oh, what?! He's unemployed?! Shocking. Simply shocking.