Now We Know What's In The Bill. Or Do We?

Here are four words I never thought I'd think, much less type: Nancy Pelosi was right.

On March 9, 2010, Speaker Pelosi (who I'm pretty sure is missing a human soul and warms her body by sunning herself on a rock) gave a little speech to the Legislative Conference for the National Association of Counties and during said speech, she actually said what I thought might have been the most ridiculous thing to ever come out of her mouth. She said, in reference to the then-pending health care bill, "But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it". Um, what now?

That's what she said. I swear. The text of the entire speech is over at her website. That particular little gem is about six paragraphs up from the bottom. But it turns out, she was right. How did I determine that? I came to that conclusion after reading an article by the extremely talented reporter William La Jeunesse of Fox News. The article outlined a provision of the bill, which is now law, called the Class Act, "...otherwise known as the Community Living Assistance Services and Support Act" which "...is the federal government's first long-term care insurance program."

Now, why we didn't hear about this beforehand is beyond me. No, wait. No, it's not. We didn't hear about it because people out there in the media are simply not doing their jobs. It's not like this bill wasn't available for review beforehand. (Right? It was available, right?) Granted, the thing clocked in at over 2,000 pages long. Am I supposed to read all of those 2,000 pages? Technically, I think that I should want to. And don't get me wrong, I DO want to want to. I DON'T want to, though. But again, technically, I don't think that I should have to. (Don't get me started on how I don't think that ANYTHING should be 2,000 pages long, unless it's a document telling me how great I am, and even then that would be pushing it. My greatness can easily be summed up in a thousand pages or so.) It's not my JOB to read the damn thing. That's the job of the media. Their job is to report. They can't report unless they know what they're reporting on. The only way to know that is to do their damn job and read all 2,000 freaking pages. But no one did, otherwise we would have heard about this before now.

Ready for this? I hope you're either sitting down or sharpening your pitchfork tines. "...The program will allow workers to have an average of roughly $150 or $240 a month, based on age and salary, automatically deducted from their paycheck to save for long-term care." Wait. What now? How much? A month?!

Now, call me silly, but can't you get long term care from the insurance that you're already supposed to be mandated to be purchasing thanks to the passage of the health care bill? I'm thinking that something along those lines would make the most sense. Ohh. That's why they didn't do it that way. It would have made sense. Carry on.

Now, this is a policy where you are automatically opted into unless you opt out. That is the complete opposite of what I thought that things were supposed to be being done. I thought it was supposed to be that you were automatically opted out of something unless you wanted to opt in. Oh, right. That's for things that the federal government isn't trying to siphon money from you for. Got it.

According to William's article, here are some of the more pressing details that you need to know about:

The deduction will work on a sliding scale based on age. Younger workers will be charged less, older workers more. The Congressional Budget Office pegged the average monthly deduction at $146. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services put it higher, at $240. Wait. The CBO and the Medicare/Medicaid folks have figures that differ in cost of around a hundred bucks? Shocking, I know. Who am I going to believe? I'm going to go with the Medicare/Medicaid folks, as they are already ridiculously underpaid, thus the CBO's low estimate would seem to be wrong, all things considered. I'm also going to with with how that seems like an awful lot of money to be deducted monthly from folks. (And just remember, those figures are an "average". That means that some people will pay more than that and some people will pay less than that. My guess is that some people will pay much, much less.)

After a five-year vesting period, enrollees who need help bathing, eating or dressing will be eligible to take out benefits, estimated to be around $75 a day for in-home care. Only a five year vesting period? And then you're good? How do they figure that? By my calculations (and I'll go with the higher figure just to give them the benefit of the doubt), if you're paying in $240 a month, after five years, you'll have contributed $14,400. At benefits of $75 a day that you can tap if you need to after those five years, you'll have yourself a whopping 192 days of care. That's not a full year. That's barely over six months. Now, I don't know what your definition of "long term care" is, but mine is definitely more than six months. Six months isn't what I'd call "long term". Six months is "just gettin' started".

Here's the other frightening part of this: The money that is put into this fund (generously and likely erroneously estimated to be $109 billion in collected premiums by 2019 after being implemented as early as 2012) will not be in a "lockbox" sort of situation. No, it's going to be more of a general fund sort of situation. You know how Social Security money is supposed to be just for Social Security? You know how the Social Security funds have been tapped by everything else AND how it will give out more than it takes in next year? You know how that works? Sure you do. Now, do you expect that this thing will work any differently? Of course you don't. Thus, it's going to end up being what? A mitigated disaster, that is correct.

Of course "The statute says the program is designed to be self-sustaining, with an advisory board to assure the fund remains solvent. But opponents say the fine print already tells another story. Unless modifications are made, according to a CBO analysis of the bill, "the program will add to future federal budget deficits in a large and growing fashion." Sounds great. Good thing that this was passed into law so that we could find out that this was in it!

Since I enjoy math and numbers, let's look at a few more, shall we? If this thing starts in 2012, $109 billion in premiums by 2019 equals out to be $15.57 billion a year. If folks are paying $240 a month, that's 5,228,125 people needed to sustain that figure. If folks are paying $146 a year, that's 8,594,178 people needed to sustain that figure. That's a difference of 3,366,053 people. Um, that's kind of a lot. How do they figure this is going to work? AT ALL! And let's not forget, those are the figures to make it all work out without money being drawn out of the fund. Those are just the numbers for money being theoretically deposited into the fund.

But let's say you participate in this charade starting from the time you're 20. And let's say that you're paying the low, low rate of $146 a month. Fast forward forty five years. You're now sixty five and you're going to retire. You'll have amassed for yourself, after forty five years of paying premiums and at the flex-rate of $75 per day allotted to you for long term care, a whopping three years of long term care. Three. Forty five years, $146 a month for a total of $78,840. That gets you three years of in-home long term care. That doesn't seem like a lot to me. Wouldn't you be better off taking that $146 and investing it somewhere or even setting up a 401k type of dealio so that you can take care of your own expenses? Wouldn't that $146 amount to a hell of a lot more than the $78,840 after 45 years? I'm kind of thinking that it would.

This is ridiculous. And it's now law. Congratulations, Nancy Pelosi. Thanks for saddling the country with another obligation that it cannot afford. What in the hell happened to people taking care of themselves when they retire anyway? (Has she not noticed the high unemployment rate which is still besieging the country? Perhaps she has overlooked the still sagging economy? The perpetually high foreclosure rate? And she's thinking that folks in "times like these" are going to be OK with forking over another $200 a month? Not to be unjustifiably disrespectful to the soulless snake, but she's high.)

I don't say things like this very often, but please read William's article and pass it along to your friends. I guarantee that the majority of them, if not all of them, have never heard a single word about this. I guarantee that the majority of them have no idea that they've already been opted into a plan that is going to cost them a minimum of $146 a month unless they opt out. And again, the reason that people don't know this is because people in the media are not doing their job. Well, except for William. William rocks at his job. But everyone else just sucks. I can't wait to find out what else is in the bill now that it's passed into law. How exciting!

Joe Biden's Great Big Effing Deal

What is wrong with Joe Biden? Seriously. I'm not sure if this guy could find his ass using both hands and even if he did manage that feat, I'm not sure that he'd know the difference between it and a hole in the ground. I was expecting him to be a little more wackier and little less moronic. It's unfortunate. Not that I'm not thrilled to have something to mock, that's not it. I'm just disappointed at what I see as the squandering of perfectly good potential.

Let's go back a week or so to when VP Joe was hosting St. Patrick's Day at the White House and had over, among others, Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen. According to the New York Daily News,"Biden asked for God's blessing for the late mother" by giving the ol' sorry-she's-dead intro of "God rest her soul" and then doing a bit of a double take. "Wait a minute. You're mother. She's still....that's right. God bless her soul. I've gotta get this right." For cryin' out loud.

Why do people say that anyways? "God bless his/her soul". Since when are we the ones giving the orders as far as God goes? What if they were an absolutely horrible individual and everyone knows that they're burning in hell? Do you still say that? I guess they do because I've never heard anyone say, "Yeah, good luck with the whole eternal damnation thing" or anything to that effect.

Then there was the day before the "historic" health care reform vote. (If I hear it called "historic" in all seriousness one more time, I'm going to lose it. "Historic" doesn't necessarily mean "good". And I'm not comparing President Barry's administration to Hitler or anything, but Hitler did a lot of things that were "historic" as well. Hitler's just a easy go-to for situations like this.) On Monday, President Barry was giving some speech about the House of Representatives' final passage of health care legislation. For some reason, Biden was right there kind of at his side. But his purpose was unclear. He just stood about a foot away from President Barry and looked at him with this dorky grin on his face. Why was he there? It was like it was Take Your Vice President To Work Day. Very strange.

But the kicker was yesterday. Yesterday, that health care reform bill was signed by President Barry. I guess he felt like he needed to let ol' Joe say a few words before he signed it, so Biden got up there and said whatever it was that he said. Then, he turned the spotlight over to President Barry. In doing so, he shakes his hand and then leans in to him to say something. (When did that trend start? The whole "We're-in-front-of-a-gazillion-people-but-I-feel-the-need-to-say-something-to-you-that's-just-between-the-two-of-us" gesture? I'm not a fan of it. Y'all feel better now that you've got a little secret? Knock it off.) Only this time, the something was barely caught on tape. (Tape? I know there isn't really tape anymore, but what else am I supposed to call it? I can't call it "video". That's just the pictures. Tape. Caught on tape. Tape that isn't really there. Someone's going to have to work on that one.)

There are a lot of things that Joe Biden could have said to President Barry. Lots of them. I can think of many brief congratulatory phrases that he could have said during that "historic" moment. "Congratulations, Mr. President." "Nice job, sir." Lots of them. Lots and lots. But Biden decided to go off the cuff with this one. And what did he say, exactly? Why, he said, "You did it. This is a big f***ing deal." Wait. What now?

Yes! Yes, it is a "big f***ing deal", Mr. Vice President. It's not only a "big f***ing deal", it's a freaking huge, M-effer of a deal. Yes! I believe it's the largest piece of legislation since Social Security was introduced. And there was Joe Biden, smiling ear to ear like he had just gotten a little doggie treat. (I'm sure he could barely contain his little tail from wagging side to side.) And that's what he says. "By the way, Mr. President, I thought I'd just take this opportunity to let you know that this is a big f***ing deal. You also might care to know that I like pie." Seriously, what is wrong with him? Did he expect President Barry to stop dead in his tracks and say, "What's that, Joe? What's a big f***ing deal? This little thing?! Really? In what way?"

The tape (and audio...whatever that's called) is below. You're going to want to turn your speakers up because while he does say it, there's all of the mindless, congratulatory clapping that can drown out his F-bomb if you let it. And look, I don't expect much out of our Vice Presidents. (I do expect them to wear different ties of different days, however. Biden seemed to be fond of sporting the blue star spangled necktie for both the passage and the signing of the bill. Doesn't he have a wife to dress him?) Heck, I don't think that I expect anything out of our Vice Presidents. But I think I do expect them to not state the obvious laced with an expletive whilst passing legislation in front of the entire world. That I'd kind of appreciate. Other than making himself look like a doddering oldster whose brain has been riddled by latter stages of syphilis, it's not a big f***ing deal.

We Asked These Protesters....

I love the folks at New Left Media. Did I mention that I love them? I do. I love them. They always seem to be out in force at these major Tea Party gatherings/protest/Band Of Idiots Conventions that are almost inevitable these days whenever there is a major vote in Congress or some major issue brewing about (likely involving Sarah Palin). Apparently New Left Media is just two guys, a one Chase Whiteside and a one Erick Stoll, and a one camera. Their website claims that they "are currently students at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio." I hope that they stay students for a while so that they'll have more time to do stuff like this. Once you graduate and get one of those pesky job things, activities such as theirs tend to disappear. It's unfortunate. Stupid jobs.

Anyway, they've hit upon a formula that, upon first hearing of it, would seem risky. They just show up at some of these larger rallies/powwows and basically ask people "Soooo, whatcha doin'?" Their answers will shock you. (No, they won't. When you realize how many of these people are paste eating mouth breathers, you're not going to be surprised by any of it. You're just going to do what I do and that is to make the wall around your walled-off compound a foot higher and throw a few more gators into the moat. Keep those people away from me.)

Apparently, up on Capitol Hill yesterday, the Tea Party protesters were out in full swing against voting yes on the health care bill (which is so incredibly enormous right now that it can't possibly do any good). And at the same time, the circus was in town. Awesome. Simply awesome. Behold!

To give you a feel for the group as a whole, let's look at some photos, shall we? Here we have a group with some very nice signs being held up. And I will give credit where credit is due here by pointing out that nothing seems to be misspelled. That, in and of itself, lends at least a shred of credibility to the nonsense that you're shouting. But spelling is only going to get you so far. One reads "No more killing of the unborn. Stop Obamacare." Yeah, see, the "killing of the unborn" is going to continue with or without this healthcare dealio. I'm going to throw out a little thing called Roe v. Wade. Perhaps you've heard of it?

What I really like in that photo is this dude here:

He brought a book to read! Just in case that rally didn't have quite enough oomph for him, he wanted to make sure that he wasn't bored. Then there's this next guy, who I'm just going to go ahead and assume is censoring himself. Maybe he had second thoughts about bringing a large placard that read "I WANT MY COUNTRY F**K!" I appreciate the covering up of the F and the U. What? What's that? You think it says "back"? Huh. Maybe. Good point. Whatever. Moving on...

I like the artwork in the one below. (There's nothing I hate more than a hastily scrawled protest sign.) It shows President Barry in a health care bill coffin. He is wearing a tuxedo that seems to indicate that he met his demise right after attending a wedding in 1973.

And speaking of President Barry, it just wouldn't be a protest without at least one chap displaying a sign with a picture of President Barry sporting the Chaplin moustache. I have yet to figure out the connection between Barack Obama and The Little Tramp, but some folks are very adamant that there are similarities. If I figure those out, I'll let you know.

This man is saying that "...government can't run anything effectively." Oh, if they only had a lime green cyclops shirt and a fuzzy blue wizard's cap, that would make things much more effective.

This Maryland Terrapin here made it very clear what he thought about the bill. He said (and I swear to God I'm quoting verbatim), "Three words. Not. Good. For. The. Country." Good Lord, sir. I'll give you that the whole "Three words" tease sounds very dramatic and all. But when you don't actually have only three words, you're really doing yourself more harm than good. And when asked by either Chase or Erick (I don't know which one is which) "What are some of the things in it that you have problems with?" he responded (and I swear to God I'm directly quoting again), "I don't know! I don't know." Am I surprised by that? Not really. I mean, he seems to be having a bit of trouble mastering the whole counting-to-five concept. It's not wonder that he doesn't know what he's doing there.

The chick below I found to be very informative. She seems to know about things in the health care bill that I was completely unaware of! It's a good thing that they caught up with her! When asked if she has other problems with the health care bill, she tells us, "Uh, yeah. Um, that nice little...uh...um...death tax! Where they would send you...where they would rather send you a fifty dollar check for a blue pill, an end of life pill, than, uh, pay for the necessary medical expenses." They what now? They want to send us checks for Viagra? What now? What part of the bill is that in? I missed the Viagra clause.

I love this couple. The matching shirts? Priceless. And check out dude there. He's proudly wearing that G.W. Bush hat atop his head and has a very firm grip on that cigar. Awesome. I might like to live next door to those folks. They seem kooky, but kooky in a good way. I think. (Anytime a couple does the matchy-matchy thing with their wardrobe, it's always a bit troubling for me, but the cigar offsets it a little bit.)

The video of all of this blather is below. It's about nine minutes long. While I enjoyed the view from the front lines, I really could have done without the two paragraphs that they put in the last 30 seconds or so. I get it, I get it. You want the bill to pass.